She sat on the porch,
Silently combing the hair of her doll,
As she watched through the corner of her eyes
Her father scurry across, clutching a bundle of papers.
She darted towards him with open hands,
But he didn’t see the tiny hands stretched out for him.
He didn’t see the tiny face that hung down in a pool of tears.
She sat alone in a house,
A house too big for her tiny legs to walk through,
A house with strong doors locked up twice and thrice,
A house that was too safe yet too scary.
She sat there alone, clutching her books.
She darted across the rooms as a kitten purred through the windows.
She hid under the bed as a leaf rustled.
But no one seemed to notice that she didn’t eat that day,
Though there were many delicacies spread on the table.
No one saw the pretty face that hung down in a pool of tears.
She clutched her mother’s clothes which still felt warm.
She snuggled to sleep with her mother’s robe which smelled like a hug.
This robe was going to be her hug for the entire week,
As she waited for her mother to return the next weekend.
But no one saw how much she yearned for a real hug.
No one saw the little face pressed inside the pillow,
Drenched in a pool of tears.
She jumped with joy as her mother returned by the weekend.
She darted towards her with a smile on her lips.
She wanted to tell her about the English lessons,
She wanted to tell her about the new chocolate she ate.
But her mother didn’t see the little excited face.
They didn’t notice the little face that hung in despair
As they both shouted at each other at the top of their lungs.
They hurled abuses, each trying to prove who won the argument.
But she was always the one who lost amid all the fights.
She grew up yearning for time.
She grew up yearning for love.
She grew up yearning for affection.
She grew up yearning for attention.
She grew up asking for time.
She grew up asking for love.
She grew up asking for affection.
She grew up asking for attention.
But everyone mocked her whenever she asked.
Everyone ignored her whenever she asked.
They called her a fool.
They called her desperate.
They called her immature.
They called her silly.
But she grew up giving time to everyone.
She grew up giving love to everyone.
She grew up giving attention to everyone.
She grew up giving affection to everyone.
Yet no one gave it back to her.
Maybe she didn’t deserve it.
Maybe she didn’t.
She never left a text unanswered.
She never left a call unreturned.
She offered a shoulder to cry on.
She offered an empathetic heart that listened.
She gave everything she never received,
Because she knew the value of what she never received.
But everyone mocked her, saying she was too available.
Everyone mocked her, saying she was jobless.
Everyone mocked her, saying she had too much free time on her hands.
And then she fell in love.
She loved too deeply.
She loved too hard.
She loved too much more than he ever wanted.
She gave him time more than he ever expected.
She poured him affection more than he ever looked for.
She gave him attention more than he ever needed.
She asked him too many times for his time.
She asked him too many times for his love.
She asked him too many times for his affection. S
he asked him too many times for his attention.
Too many times that he got tired of her.
Too many times that he told her she was jobless.
Too many times that he told her she was silly.
Too many times that he told her she was a disturbance.
She sat on the porch,
Silently wiping her tears,
Finally realizing that no one needs her time— Not her father, not her mother, not him.
She asked herself, why is it that no one finds her good enough to spend time with her?
Was she too bad to be loved?
Was she too unworthy to be cared for?
And, she never got the answers to her questions.
